


Won't be alone again...

by Livesinbooks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Break Up, Fairy Tale Curses, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29695323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livesinbooks/pseuds/Livesinbooks
Summary: “I saw your parents getting cursed. They weren’t bad people, but your father abused his magic to trick people into giving him money. One of the people he tricked… They cursed him and his wife, and any children they’d ever have to never feel happiness. But then because it wouldn’t be the child’s fault, they added that their children would get one chance at happiness, one person in the whole world who could help them feel. I saw who your person is too,” Oikawa says quietly, “I saw a crow turn into a man with dark hair. I didn’t see much more than that except eyes blue like the sky at night.”or: Suga is cursed to only feel happiness when he's with one person. But how will he find him? And once he does find him, how does he ask him to stay?
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi, Pre Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, pre Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Won't be alone again...

**Author's Note:**

> title from: sick of losing soulmates by dodie
> 
> Luca ([guardiansofthefantasy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guardiansofthefantasy)) gave me a challenge, an angsty prompt and I had to write it with as little angst as possible and also under 5k words  
> The prompt was: broken promises, leaving the other behind after being asked not to, not giving each other another chance, being destined to only find happiness with said person
> 
> I know I didn't 100% nail it, but I think I did well enough?  
> This isn't written in my usual style, but I quite like it actually, so enjoy

It’s a warm day in late summer when Suga is outside his little hut in the woods washing his clothes in a tub filled with water from the well that he heated up inside on the stove. It’s work he’s used to, the motions familiar enough he can lose himself in his thoughts.  
He should go for a walk through the forest later, he needs some new ingredients for the healing potions Oikawa asked him to make this week.

“Kou-chan!”

Speak of the devil. Suga looks up from his work and raises an eyebrow at his friend who walks closer with a spring in his step that doesn’t hide the dark clouds in his eyes.

“Your potions aren’t done yet,” Suga informs him and then focuses on the shirt he’s scrubbing again. He got berry juice on it when working on other potions this morning and he really hopes he can remove the purple stain properly, otherwise he’ll have to search his books for a potion that might help.

“Suga,” Oikawa’s voice is sharp, and since he rarely calls him that, both of those things tell him that he’s been calling his name multiple times already while Suga has been lost in thoughts.  
“Yes?”  
“I said I’m not here for the potions. I saw something.”  
Suga rolls his eyes. He heard enough of Oikawa’s strange visions.  
“Why didn’t you just wait until we’re meeting in two days anyways? I don’t want to know about which clients I’ll have the next week.”

Oikawa’s gift are visions of all kind, some predicting the future, some showing him a way to solve a problem he’s been struggling with. Occasionally he sees something about someone’s history, and tells Suga about it so they can gossip.

“I don’t have time to gossip today, there’s too many orders.”  
“I saw something about you.”

Suga’s hands freeze in the middle of wringing out the shirt.

“Or… your parents.”

Suga’s parents… Suga doesn’t remember them. He lived on the streets for most of his life, helped out in shops for food, until a kind elderly witch recognised his magical talents and took him in to teach him.  
He continues squeezing the water from the fabric, harsher than before.

“I don’t want to know about them.”  
“Kou-chan, it’s… important. You remember our talk when you were drunk last month?”

Sighing, Suga rubs his nose with his arm, water dripping onto his lap. Then he leans back on his legs, the kneeling position slowly starting to hurt.  
He had a particularly bad day and tried his hand on an alcoholic potion that makes the person drinking it giddy and happy. It didn’t work on him. Nothing that’s supposed to make people happy works on him. He went to Oikawa and cried, confessing his strange emotions to him. Oikawa was confused, but also understanding and said _”I’ve never seen you smile. But I thought that’s just not something you do.”_

Not in the mood to lie, Suga just nods. Oikawa sits in the grass next to him, and presses their feet together, Suga’s bare, Oikawa wearing simple brown boots.

“I saw your parents getting cursed. They weren’t bad people, but your father abused his magic to trick people into giving him money. One of the people he tricked… They cursed him and his wife, and any children they’d ever have to never feel happiness. But then because it wouldn’t be the child’s fault, they added that their children would get one chance at happiness, one person in the whole world who could help them feel.”  
“Bullshit,” is all Suga manages, the shirt dropping from his hands into the grass. Now he’ll have to wash it again, but that doesn’t matter, the stain is still there anyways.  
“I saw who your person is too,” Oikawa adds quietly, and reaches out, putting a hand on Suga’s left knee. “Do you want to know?”

What kind of question is that? Of course Suga wants to know. He finally wants to feel _happy_ , wants to know what it’s like to smile and laugh and feel warmth in your chest because someone you care about is teasing you and joking around with you.  
Again, he just nods.

“I saw a crow turn into a man with dark hair. I didn’t see much more than that except eyes blue like the sky at night.”

A man who can turn into a crow. A shapeshifter. How is Suga supposed to find this one person among all the human beings on this planet, the one person that’s destined to save him?

The man finds him. It’s the day of the first snow and Suga is sitting in his living room wrapped in a blanket by the open fireplace, carefully plucking the petals off of the lupines in his lap one by one, adding them to the bowls in front of him. Then there’s a loud banging against his window, and he startles, looking up. Nobody is there, and with all the clouds in the sky it’s rather dim outside, so he can’t see anything from his spot anyways.

Grabbing the stick he keeps by the front door, he steps into his boots and walks outside.

“Who’s there? I’m a witch, so don’t try me.”

He doesn’t mention that he can only make potions and use simple spells to make his potions work, but he can hit someone with a stick really well, Oikawa will agree. Suga once hit him unconscious when he snuck into his hut to play a prank on him and startled him.

“Hello?” he calls and then slowly walks around the house towards the window where he heard the sound. There in the snow is a man, lying on his side, black bangs in his face, some black feathers in the hair. There’s blood on his forehead and on the window, and he seems to be out cold.

Suga blinks, confused, then he steps closer, and when he can’t wake the man with words and shaking, he drags him back around to the door and inside. He can’t leave him to freeze to death after all.

While the man is still unconscious, Suga cleans the wound on his forehead and then wraps him in a blanket on the couch, making sure he’s comfortable. He brushes some of the feathers out of his hair and wonders if he fought with a bird.

The man opens his eyes a few hours later, and Suga startles at how blue they are, and then he’s sitting up abruptly, panic on his face.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Suga says as gently as he can. “I won’t hurt you.”

Obviously not trusting him, the man jumps up and detangles himself from the blanket, then he looks around frantically before locking eyes with Suga and then - turning into a crow.  
That explains the feathers.

Suga can barely breathe as he takes it all in. Black hair, blue eyes, shapeshifter.

“Wait,” he gasps. “You’re the one who will save me.”

Kageyama, that’s the man’s name, stays and hears him out. The desperation in Suga’s voice and the tears in his eyes probably help show how important this is. Kageyama listens, and nods, and seems confused why he is the one, but he agrees to stay for a bit to see if anything will change.

When Suga hugs him tightly, he stiffens, but after a moment, he leans into the touch and hugs him back a little.

A smile tugs on Suga’s lips, foreign on his face, and a sob escapes him. Is this what it feels like to be happy? He never wants to let it go again.

Oikawa is not as excited as Suga when Suga takes Kageyama to meet him. He keeps glaring at him and whispering to Suga if he’s sure he can trust someone who just flew against his window. But Suga does trust Kageyama because he told him that he’d been fleeing from another Kingdom that doesn’t take kindly to shapeshifters. He’d been too panicked to notice the building, and so he’d crashed into it. It was fate.

Suga tries to convince Oikawa to give Kageyama a chance because smiling feels good, and holding Kageyama’s hand makes him feel warm and giddy.

Oikawa stops asking him to hang out to gossip.

Suga never thought much about dating before Oikawa told him about his curse, and after that he tried to think about it even less because there’s only one person out there for him, and what if he never found them?  
But he did find him, and being with Kageyama is even better than he imagined. He feels loved.

It’s a cold spring day, dew on the grass outside, when Suga’s world crumbles. Kageyama helped him deliver potions in the village the day before, and now at breakfast he tells Suga about an old friend he thinks he saw in one of the shops as they passed by. Suga was in a hurry though so he didn’t ask him to take a look inside, but he wants to go search for him today.  
The worst thing is that Kageyama is smiling a small but excited smile, and it looks so sweet on him, it makes Suga’s chest warm even as his heart speeds up with dread.

“Why? You don’t need anyone else, right? We’re meant to be together.”  
“He’s my friend,” Kageyama slowly says, smile falling. Suga didn’t want that to happen, oh no.  
“I mean… What if we look for him together then?”  
Kageyama fidgets in his chair and pushes his plate with scrambled eggs away.  
“We’ve been together for months, Suga… I’d like to have a day to myself.”  
“Why?” Suga’s voice is sharp as he says it, and Kageyama’s eyes widen. Suga’s chest aches. “I’m sorry, Kageyama. I’m sorry… Of course you can spend time on your own. Relationships are about trust, right? I trust you to come back to me.”

There’s something on Kageyama’s face that Suga can’t read, but he nods and leaves after breakfast to look for his friend. He doesn’t come back.

He returns a year later, just when Oikawa managed to pick up some bits of Suga’s heart that had been shattered. After all, not being happy doesn’t mean being sad all the time. Just… _being_ is okay, mostly. It really is. - Even though it isn’t.

When Kageyama returns, Suga is too relieved to be cautious, so he lets himself fall into the other man’s arms and holds on, listening to his apologies. Oikawa yells at him when he finds out and visits him and Kageyama at the hut.

“He will hurt you again!”  
“Don’t talk about him like he isn’t here. That’s impolite.”  
“I don’t care, he hurt you! Did you already forget about that, Sugawara? Did you forget who helped you recover from having your heart broken?”  
_Sugawara._  
Suga grits his teeth and grabs Kageyama’s hand, holding on tightly.  
“You’re just jealous that you’re not good enough to make me smile.”

Oikawa’s gaze seems so far away after the words leave Suga’s mouth, and he steps forward to apologise, but Oikawa raises a hand to silence him.  
“I’ll be visiting some friends in a different Kingdom. Goodbye, Suga.”

Oikawa leaves, but at least Suga has Kageyama, right? He only needs Kageyama to be happy after all.

It’s his own fault for being clingy and overbearing, so when Kageyama is gone one morning after Suga freaked out over him stepping out into the garden for a minute without him, he can’t even be mad at the other. He had it coming.

“Maybe you’re just not meant to be happy. Even the one destined for you can’t help you.”

Since Oikawa isn’t in the village anymore, Suga busies himself with his potions, trying to forget. But now that he knows what happiness feels like, the loneliness hits him even harder. Last time he had Oikawa, now there’s only him. And it’s all his fault.

Oikawa comes back and holds him as Suga cries. He doesn’t say _I told you so_ and Suga just cries harder.  
After apologising, Suga promises Oikawa to try and somehow break the curse himself. He doesn’t need anyone else to make him happy after all.

The smile on Oikawa’s lips is sad because curses don’t work like that. But he also has an idea. His friends came with him, and they’d like to meet him and see if they can help.

There’s Iwaizumi who does blood magic, and tries to use it to somehow alter the curse, Suga doesn’t fully understand what he’s saying as he explains. He feels really weird while Iwaizumi works, but it doesn’t help. At the end of it, he feels as empty as before, and his lips won’t move as he tries to smile.

Matsukawa is next. Suga doesn’t understand how he’ll help, as his magic is death magic apparently, but when he suggests contacting Suga’s parents which are possibly dead by now, he shakes his head and refuses. It’s final. He won’t be doing this.

Hanamaki’s magic isn’t very helpful either, plant magic, though Suga loves talking to him about different plants he uses as ingredients in potions, so they spend an hour just discussing the properties of their favourite flowers until Oikawa tells them to please stop. Suga tries to smile, waits for the warm feeling in his chest that he should get when having fun like this.  
There’s nothing.

Kageyama is back in winter, two years since their first meeting. But Suga promised Oikawa not to let him into his life again, so he ignores him when he knocks on his door and calls his name.  
A part of Suga wants to give in and let him in, sink into his arms and listen to his apologies, take him back and enjoy feeling whole and happy and alive until he decides he needs another break.  
But Oikawa would probably stop talking to him completely, so Suga doesn’t let himself cave. Instead, he goes to bed and buries his face in his pillow, thinking of warm hands and arms holding him, making him smile. How does he deserve this?

The next morning when Suga wants to leave through the front door to get some snow for a cup of tea, he hears noises outside the door and looks through the window beside it, eyes widening when Kageyama is sitting there in the cold, shaking.  
He needs to let him in, right? His hand hovers over the doorknob.

_Don’t you dare, he’s trying to trick you into letting him back into your life so he can hurt you again,_ Oikawa’s voice says in his head, and Suga drops his hand, heart heavy. He cares too much about his friend to lose him for good simply because he’s chasing happiness.

“Suga?”

He startles at Kageyama’s voice from the outside and quickly pulls the curtains closed again so he can’t see him, but Kageyama doesn’t seem to have moved away from his spot right outside the door.

“I hope you can hear me,” he continues after a moment. “I need to apologise. But this time I also need to explain myself. I hurt you, twice now. You, uh… You don’t deserve that.”

Suga should go into the kitchen and start breakfast. He could get some snow through the window.  
Instead, he slides down on the inside of the door and leans his head back, listening.

“When you told me that I’m the one who’s supposed to make you happy… It was overwhelming. Why me?”  
He’s silent for a while, but it doesn’t mean anything. Kageyama isn’t good with words, so even though it sounds like he practiced, he still needs time to think.  
“But you did look happy with me. Sometimes. Most of the time you were anxious about losing that happiness. It… It put a lot of pressure on me.”  
Suga hears him sigh and then Kageyama’s head hits the door from the other side with a dull thud.

“Hinata told me I should be honest with you, even if it might hurt you. You’re… you’re overwhelming. I was never alone when I was here with you. You barely let me go outside alone to… to pee.”

Suga swallows, ashamed of himself, of not noticing how out of line he’d been.

“I felt caged in, like you were trying to… to contain me, and… and clip my wings. That first time I left, I really just wanted to talk to Hinata. But when I was alone with him… I felt lighter. It was all… easier. I like spending time with you, but I need space too. I… I need to be my own person. I’m not only here for your happiness. I like making you happy, but… I don’t want…”  
A deep breath.  
“I don’t want to date you, Suga. And I don’t want to exist just to be there for you. I want… I want to be me.”

Hands shaking, Suga stares at the floor. He only used Kageyama, he drove him away by being… scared. Scared of being left alone. Of losing the newfound happiness.

“Kageyama,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”

He’s not sure if he can hear him, but then there’s the sound of Kageyama standing up outside.  
“I talked to a lot of people about your curse, and… one of my friends said we could find a loophole. We don’t need to date, or be constantly together.”  
Suga gets up too and puts a hand on the doorknob.  
“We can be friends. And when you trust me enough, we trust each other enough, we will always be in each other’s hearts, even… even when we’re apart. He said that.”

His hand turns and he opens the door. Kageyama is staring at him with wide eyes, looking cold as he shivers there on his doorstep.

“I know I hurt you, Suga… I promise if we try it this way, I won’t run away again.”

Oikawa’s voice is yelling at him in his head. Suga smiles a little and takes a step back.  
“Come in, I’ll make us tea.”

It takes a while. At first Suga is still anxious when Kageyama leaves to go on a walk or to the village on his own, but after time, it gets easier. Because Suga is learning to trust Kageyama, be his friend. They’re good as friends, so much better than when they tried to date and Suga was so scared all the time.

When Kageyama hesitantly asks him if he can visit his friend Hinata for a week in a neighbouring village, Suga’s heart sinks, but then he forces himself to take a deep breath. Kageyama is with him in his heart. And he will come back this time.

“I know you’re scared, but I’ll come back. If you need me to come back sooner, you can send a letter.”

A letter would probably take two days to reach him, but Kageyama could fly back in a day… It soothes Suga’s nerves a little, and he smiles.

“Okay. Greet your friend from me.”

“So he’s gone again?” Oikawa asks, voice sharp. “I will kill that little-”  
“He’s just visiting his friend,” Suga interrupts him gently, and Oikawa narrows his eyes at him. And then they widen in shock, as Suga starts to grin and then to laugh. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m sure. I’m sure.”  
“You’re laughing.” Oikawa is still staring at him in awe, and Suga’s laughter dissolves into giggles until he smiles at Oikawa openly and honestly, the first time without Kageyama around.  
“I am. He’s always in my heart now. I know he’ll come back when I need him to, but I also know he needs his freedom, a possibility to live his own life. But he’s my friend, and I love him dearly, and he cares about me just as much.”

Oikawa reaches out and one finger traces Suga’s lips, the smile on them. His heart flutters and his smile widens as his chest warms. He’s happy.

“I’m in love with Hinata.”  
Suga looks up from the potion he’s brewing, and smiles at how fidgety Kageyama is where he’s sitting at the table with a book in front of him.  
“Okay.”  
“You’re not jealous?”  
“A little worried what it’ll mean for us,” Suga admits. “But I’m not jealous.”  
“I’ll probably be here less…” Kageyama avoids his eyes. Suga strangles the ugly fear in his chest, and wipes his hands on his apron before walking over to Kageyama and ruffling his hair.  
“You visit every Sunday for lunch, and you bring Hinata along, alright?”

Finally, the other looks up at him and searches his face for something. A little smile blooms on his face as he seems to realise that he’s serious.  
“I will. He will love your house.”  
“He better!”

Suga laughs, and Kageyama grins, and they’re okay. And if Kageyama is in love with Hinata, and Suga and him will definitely never go past the state of friendship again… Maybe he should explore those feelings he gets when Oikawa touches him and smiles at him.

Yes… he should do that. His smile widens and he returns to the stove and his pots, listening to the rustling of the pages as Kageyama keeps reading the book.

_...We’ll grow old as friends  
\- sick of losing soulmates (dodie)_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this, I always appreciate feedback! (and possibly other challenges or short prompts, since I'm trying to get back into writing shorter fics again?)


End file.
